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Sage & Silver Bullets

by Kate Nyx

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1.
i'll be fine without you find tomorrow on my own not everything's about you and you can't know what's comin down the road what the future holds i'm gonna get better can't rain till the end of time there's changes in the weather only god knows what is down the line and darlin, it's alright you can tell me that i'm crazy but i can tell you're lying you say that i'm nothing but i'm fire, and you're the fuel you say no one can love me but i think you forgot the golden rule so keep on bein' cruel tell me i'm a disaster but at least i'm not a fool storms may gather but i'll harvest the thunder weave with lightning to make things of wonder i'll bleed my ink from blackened skies and write my poems on telephone lines You don't get to run my life I'm not your mother, child or wife Who are you to say I'm lost I've found myself amidst the fog i won't let you destroy me you cannot take my soul your spell may still be on me but some day soon i will be in control i don't have far to go the tunnel's getting shorter and time is tickin' on the light is getting brighter i know that it can't be very long until the night is gone you can say it's getting darker but i know you're wrong
2.
Annabelle 02:15
Annabelle sat Next to the train tracks The sunset stared back As she swung her feet Against the guard rail Her hair in pigtails Every tall tale She told was in her teeth Her mother said that fibbers were the devils kin & kind And that she wouldn’t get anywhere by telling all those lies But Annabelle was happier playing in her mind So she lied Oh, she lied. Annabelle sat Next to the train tracks The sky was so black You couldn’t see the stars Against the stop lights The neon bar signs She knew it was time To find a new front yard She packed her journals & her comb, her necklace made of shells And her mother told her she was going straight to hell But the devils playground was better than standing still Hey Annabelle Oh, Annabelle Annabelle sat Next to the train tracks And she looked back But she felt no fear She said a prayer It was nowhere It was somewhere But it wasn’t here I have waited all my life to go out on my own This place cannot contain me, I don't care if I'm alone If travel far enough, the road can feel like home And so I go
3.
Calm Down 03:25
baby, calm down, baby, calm down, it's gonna be fine baby, calm down baby, calm down, one day you'll be mine i can't wash you off of my skin look at all the trouble i'm in i can't get you out of my head never kicked you out of my bed you said baby, calm down, baby, calm down, it's gonna be fine baby, calm down baby, calm down, one day you'll be mine in time your disaster burrowed in me and developed into disease i still see your face in my dreams three years passed and i'm still unclean you breathed baby, calm down, baby, calm down, it's gonna be fine baby, calm down baby, calm down, one day you'll be mine in time
4.
i am no saint i have my sins i let who i thought i was win i've lost my soul to nonchalance i cannot tell what pain i've caused my body's here. my heart is not the war i waged was hardly fought and at what cost, where do i go i pray to gods i barely know with wine and fire with blood and bone i drink, i burn, i bleed alone god help me now, i've lost my way and so i bend my knees and pray I can't say what I sacrificed so that my ego could survive i could not have been left less whole i cut apart my heart and soul on every stage i left a piece to acquiesce my devotees i gave away all i could see and now there's nothing left for me with wine and fire with blood and bone i drink, i burn, i bleed alone god help me now, i've lost my way and so i bend my knees and pray forgive me, saints, for i have sinned i let my lesser morals win I gave away all that I could and now I might be done for good No spotlight to reveal my path No audience to stand and clap I pray to god but don't believe i drink, i burn, i swear i bleed with wine and fire, with blood and bone the lights are off, the curtain's closed So lock the door and toss the key My secrets are what set me free
5.
it's been a little while now, the both of us moved on our love is dust behind us, the passion's dead and gone and i mean it when i tell you, i hope you're doing well but I gotta say this, baby, I'd sell my soul to send you straight to hell i can't recall the moment i decided your fate perhaps when I was talking to the other woman on your plate i've never been a side dish, and i didn't take it well yeah, i gotta tell you, baby, i'd sell my soul to send you straight to hell you're a looker not a lover but i'm a fighter so take cover and i've got the kind of ammo that you can't buy i'm doing some spring cleanin' i'm exorcising demons so bring my whiskey and my guitar cause someone is gonna die i'd say that i was joking, but i can't say a word and lying is a sin, my dear, i don't believe you heard and after all the wrong you did me, i'm trying not to dwell but i gotta tell you, darling, i'd sell my soul to send you straight to hell you're a cheater, not a player but i'm a devil slayer and you ain't got nothing on the game I'm gonna bring i'm doing some spring cleanin i'm exorcising demons so ring a bell because it's about damn time this angel got her wings i heard a wise man sayin' the past should stay the past but if i never looked behind me, i wouldn't know just what i had i've found a man who loves me and truly treats me well but i still think about how i'd sell my soul to send you straight to hell
6.
you have cursed us, mother eve we regret the things we eat damned to the eternal fate despising every bite we ate poring over each detail skeletal and deathly pale compared to every girl we meet, you have cursed us, mother eve if the apple'd stayed untouched would we hate ourselves as much hungering and never sated look at the monsters you've created wretching to prevent our sins from settling beneath our skin we would rather weep & heave you have cursed us, mother eve the mirror lies, the scale's a whore i couldn't handle one bite more it'd be the death of me, i'm sure if i should take one bite more the bodies with which we've been blessed cannot thrive in emptiness but we have become obsessed in hollow bones and shallow breasts we take pride in emptiness you have cursed us, mother eve how can i ever believe that i am not what i eat you have cursed us, mother eve you have cursed us, mother eve
7.
Diagnonsense 03:26
It was predicted by my mother's eyes With tears that wandered down her face That my psyche would be volatile With several parts misplaced The section meant for direction Never developed fully Now ribbons tied to my cortexes Find new places to pull me I say I'm not losing my mind Because it's running free It's travelled long and loathesome hours To get away from me It sits in an unsealed mason jar Upon some official's desk Happy in it's unhappiness And finally at rest And here I sit, without a conscience But i have never been at peace Not technically conscious But cognitive at least I say I'm not losing my mind Because it took a train Through North Carolina and New Orleans To find itself new names This addiction that I have is not to any substance No nicotine can sway me, no alcohol can numb it I don't adore heroin, I don't fancy cocaine I'm in love to my very core with causing myself pain I say I'm not losing my mind But we know that's a lie It travelled long and loathsome hours To find somewhere to die Like a cat curled in a corner Underneath the basement stairs To breath its final breath alone So you don't have to care. Peaceful in its death alone With no one left to care.
8.
put a bullet in the head of every wretched word you said tried to pretend that you don't exist but pretending didn't work tried to fill your mouth with dirt but it all just passed right through your lips get back in your grave you can't haunt me forever get back in your grave get back in your grave i'm trying to get better get back in your grave in the dark, there's always ghosts you play my ribs like xylophones reminding me i wasn't worth a dime you bled me of my innocence you claimed it was just ignorance and that i should thank you for your time i put a bullet in the head of every pretty word you said i thought killing them would work but they still bubble from the earth their hands claw through the grass they whisper when I pass that it's something to behold how i'm nothing and you're gold get back in your grave i hurt but i keep living get back in your grave get back in your grave you shall never be forgiven get back in your grave
9.
Bianca 02:36
It's so easy to go back To the life that you once had It's so god damn hard to change And the feeling's pretty strange It's so easy to say yes To your old conflicted mess It's like a cheap electric shock To turn back the clock Can't you just say no, Bianca? Can't you let it go, Bianca? I guess I'll never know, Bianca The things that you go through It's like you were never alive Every step you take's a dive Into a new uncharted sea Where we all sit, patiently Please don't try to run away We're waiting 'til you're okay Before you forgive anyone else You have to forgive yourself Can't you just say no, Bianca? Can't you let it go, Bianca? I guess I'll never know, Bianca The things that you go through Maybe I should try to help Try to break into your shell Maybe I don't have the balls To catch Bianca if she falls Or should I leave you alone Delete your number off my phone Stop the games, and leave you be Bianca, tell me Can't you just say no, Bianca? Can't you let it go, Bianca? I guess I'll never know, Bianca The things that you go through
10.
Road To Hell 03:57
i can feel it creeping up behind me i can feel its breath upon my ear i can feel its skeletal hands guide me out of the corner of my eye, i can see it drawing near i can hear it slink among the shadows i can hear its laughter on the wind i know its preparing for the gallows I know that its craving to hang me for my sins but i will still fight for my redemption god as my witness, i will make a stand the road to hell is paved with good intentions and I just want to be a better man i can see it counting all my errors I can see it clouding up my eyes The nights are long and dark and filled with terror It knows my faults, it knows me fears and lies I can tell that it knows that I am trying It watches my attempts and cocks its head It doesn't know that I am slowly dying Because it thinks I am already dead but i will still fight for my redemption I'm doing what I can, but can't you see the road to hell is paved with good intentions but honestly, I just want to sleep i am nothing but collective malice piled up in books besides my head it is the rabbit and i am always alice fighting all the monsters in my head try as i might to fight for my redemption i do my best, but what's done is done the road to hell is paved with good intentions and like all the times before, the devil won

about

"Sage & Silver Bullets" is my third record. It was funded by my fans, friends, and family on Kickstarter, a fact I am both proud of and humbled by.

The title, Sage & Silver Bullets, relates to the healing powers inherent in music for me. This, I hope, will be the last record I write about Mr. Domestic Rhapsody. Producing it is burning sage; I'm cleaning out my brain of his presence, but also the presence of my anxiety and depression now voiced by him in my head. "Silver bullets", because I'm very about cowboy/outlaw imagery and I always imagine silver bullets coming from fancy six shooters. They're what you use to kill demons and other monsters; my anxiety is a being that I have to exorcise and slay.

credits

released April 11, 2015

Vocals/Guitar/Ukulele: Kate Nyx
Bass/Mandolin/Guitar: Patrick Crowling
Guitar/Keys/Arrangement: Bright Kelly
Lead Guitar [Diagnonsense]: Brian Dibagio
Drums: Brian Viglione

Music and lyrics by Kate Nyx

Produced, mixed, and mastered by Bright Kelly at Empty Attic Studios

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Kate Nyx Lancaster, Pennsylvania

Maker. Musician. Feral faerie feminist. Chronically the illest. That clown girl from Pinterest. Punk rock pixie pinup.
Photos by Chad Harnish

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