DEMOlition: An Audio Sketchbook

by Kate Nyx

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about

A collection of alternate live takes and demos, updated occasionally as I record new things and want to test them out. Enjoy!

Bonus materials if you download, including an interview with me that appeared on BBC radio!

credits

released March 17, 2013

HJ did all the things. Toreee did the photos.

tags

license

Some rights reserved. Please refer to individual track pages for license info.

about

Kate Nyx Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

Social Justice Bard

magic. music. mischief.

[formerly Hayley Jane]

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Track Name: What Would Peggy Carter Do?
when i’m feeling down
like there’s no way up from here
can’t pick myself up off the ground
I am paralyzed by fear
whether it’s just in my head
or maybe it’s something else
when it’s starting to get bad
this is what i ask my self

what would Peggy Carter do?
she’d happily fight anyone who’d gotten in her way
what would peggy carter do?
she wouldn’t listen to what the haters have to say
she would catch all of the bad guys and she’d do it looking great
Peggy Carter is my hero, and she’s why I’m here today

when the patriarchy’s thriving
and the internet is mean
when my depression’s trying to kill me
and I can’t bring myself to eat
when some prick who doesn’t know me
tries to ask me for me name
I just say “My name is Agent”
And I go on with my day

what would Peggy Carter do?
she’d happily fight anyone who’d gotten in her way
what would peggy carter do?
she wouldn’t listen to what the haters have to say
she would catch all of the bad guys and she’d do it looking great
Peggy Carter is my hero, and she’s why I’m here today

whether your boss thinks women are all weak
or your manager won’t even let you speak
just think of Margaret Carter
kick ass in heels and garters
and remember being feminine doesn’t make you any less
than any other person on the street

what would Peggy Carter do?
she’d happily fight anyone who’d gotten in her way
what would peggy carter do?
she wouldn’t listen to what the haters have to say
she would catch all of the bad guys and she’d do it looking great
Peggy Carter is my hero, and she’s why I’m here today
Track Name: Partner In Crime
those who say that love is blind
must have never met me
i set you in my sights
I decided we were meant to be
but i didn’t plan for this
how much it would all come true
who’d have known that at the end of my rainbow was you

you’re not exactly perfect, but neither am i
do you think that it’s worth it to have me by your side

i’ll make an exception to the rule
you are such a fool
you think you’re kind when you are cruel
you don’t know what to say
but you are where i go when I am scared
you’re still standing there
even though you’re unprepared
for this juggling act called life
you’re my partner in crime

those who say it ends in time
must have never met me
i kick my horses long past death
I love my lovers when they leave
but as much as we have done
here we are still having fun
who’d have known that after all this time it’s you who were the one?

you’re not exactly perfect, but god knows I’m not either
if I didn’t believe in love, you would have made me a believer

i’ll make an exception to the rule
you are such a fool
you think you’re kind when you are cruel
you don’t know what to say
but you are where i go when I am scared
you’re still standing there
even though you’re unprepared
for this juggling act called life
you’re my partner in crime

I’m pretty good at guessing, but I don’t know what comes next
we’re not exactly perfect, but we’re doing our best

i’ll make an exception to the rule
god, i’m such a fool
I think I’m kind when I am cruel
I have too much to say
and I know that I have made you scared
you’re still standing there
can’t you see I’m unprepared
for this juggling act called life
you’re my partner in crime
Track Name: Long Sleeves in Summer [I Believe]
The movies are lying, it isn't romantic
A constant exchange between painful and panic
The bathroom is chapel, this bath is your service
While every mistake you made floats to the surface
Reconciliation burns white on your conscience
How long can this go on while you are still conscious
You're lost, but you're willing, it's hard but you're trying
I promise the dawn is much better than dying

And you won't spend your life
Wearing long sleeves in summer
You won't spend your nights trying to forget who you are
You are not your scar
So take a deep breath
Try to stay in the moment
Tomorrow is scary but right now it's just you and me
One day you'll be free
I believe

I'll tell you the truth, that perfection is pointless
If we all looked the same wouldn't looking be joyless?
All skin really does is cover your organs
So color yourself with what you deem important
Reconciliation burns black on your record
But I swear to god, I will help you get better
You're lost, but you're looking, it's hard but you need them
Any step you take is a step towards freedom

And you won't spend your life
Wearing long sleeves in summer
You won't spend your nights trying to forget who you are
You are not your scar
So take a deep breath
Try to stay in the moment
Tomorrow is scary but right now it's just you and me
One day you'll be free
I believe

The movies are lying, it isn't romantic
A constant exchange between painful and panic
The bathroom is chapel, this bath is your service
While every mistake you made floats to the surface
Track Name: Hip Hop Halloween
you gave me such a fright, oh isn't it a scream
you look simply horriffic, a walking dead man's dream
your hands are cold and clammy, your skin is white as snow
actually, my lovely, you look like you've seen a ghost!

you're absolutely perfect, can't wait for your suprise
just ring the doorbell, darling, don't forget to close your eyes
if you're really lucky, you might get trapped inside
because as far as i have heard, no one has survived

welcome to the end of world
didn't think we'd be here so soon
welcome to the end of the world
we're so happy to see you

they say the place is haunted, but that's just the start
the man who used to own it didn't have heart
just a nasty bunch of orange maggots filled with puss
he baked his wife into a pie and didn't leave a scrap of crust

you say you aren't nervous, but i know that's a lie
your hair is standing on it's end, i see it in your eyes
make sure you check under your bed and turn off all your lights
because you won't want to see what's standing by you in the night

welcome to the end of the world
isn't it the place to be seen
welcome to the end of the world
and have a happy halloween
Track Name: Card Subject to Change [DEMO]
you said that blonde heels have more fun
well, you're living proof
i thought that you were the one
so foolish in my youth

and the victor for the match
well, it's pretty clear
darling, you were such a catch
until you dissappeared

baby i'm a luchador and i learned it from you
i fight for freedom and i fight for the truth
baby i'm a luchador and all because of you
you fool

you said you did your best
well it wasn't good enough
you put me to the test
but you play a little rough

you say i'm green as earth
and fickle as the air
but for what it's worth
i finally don't care

CHORUS

i hate hate
to break kay fabe
but i got to got to got to say
you got me pretty good, baby
i hate hate HATE
to break break break
kay fabe
but the gimmick didn't work
turns out you're just a jerk

CHORUS
Track Name: Heart in a Jar [DEMO]
[Heart in a Jar]

She has my heart in a jar by her bedside, suspended in glittering gel.
It glows in the night when she can't get to sleep and silently wishes her well
It beats with a pace that isn't distracting, just barely without being still
So she can remember me, she can remember me when I am stranded in hell

She is my sister, my lover, my mother, my friend, courtesan, and foe
She helped to pay my dues and she is helping to build my throne
And she cannot die, and neither can I for I will continue to be
The heart in the jar in the glittering gel that glows when she can't get to sleep

Her hair is not fair, her skin is not fine, and her beauty might not be your taste
She is not the sweetest, nor is she richest, she is not the smallest of waist
She is an admiral, I am her soldier, fighting for stained glass refrains
So she can call for me, so she can call for me when she is lying in pain

She is my sister, my lover, my mother, my friend, courtesan, and foe
She helped to pay my dues and she is helping to build my throne
And she cannot die, and neither can I for I will continue to be
The heart in the jar in the glittering gel that glows when she can't get to sleep

Fierce and forgiving, she will keep living, after we've all gone away
Standing atop a tangle of iron, wind whipping her hair from her face
Soot stained and glamorous, oiled and armed to tackle all those who betray
And she'll have my heart in the jar on her bedside, wherever her bedside may be

She'll have my heart in a jar by her bedside, wherever her bedside may be.
Track Name: Annabelle [DEMO]
Annabelle sat
Next to the train tracks
The sunset stared back
As she swung her feet

Against the guard rail
Her hair in pigtails
Every tall tale
She told was in her teeth

Her mother said that fibbers were the devils kin & kind
And that she wouldn’t get anywhere by telling all those lies
But Annabelle was happier playing in her mind
So she lied
Oh, she lied.

Annabelle sat
Next to the train tracks
The sky was so black
You couldn’t see the stars

Against the stop lights
The neon bar signs
She knew it was time
To find a new front yard

She packed her journals & her comb, her necklace made of shells
And her mother told her she was going straight to hell
But the devils playground was better than standing still
Hey Annabelle
Oh, Annabelle

Annabelle sat
Next to the train tracks
And she looked back
But she felt no fear

She said a prayer
Home was nowhere
Home was somewhere
But it wasn’t here
Track Name: Blood and Bone [DEMO]
with wine
with fire
with blood
with bone

i am no saint i have my sins
i let who i thought i was win
i've lost my soul to nonchalance
i cannot tell what pain i've caused
my body's here. my heart is not
the war i waged was hardly fought
and at what cost, where do i go
i pray to gods i barely know

with wine and fire
with blood and bone
i drink, i burn, i bleed alone
god help me now,
i've lost my way
and so i bend my knees and pray

I can't say what I sacrificed
so that my ego could survive
i could not have been left less whole
i cut apart my heart and soul
on every stage i left a piece
to acquiesce my devotees
i gave away all i could see
and now there's nothing left for me

with wine and fire
with blood and bone
i drink, i burn, i bleed alone
god help me now,
i've lost my way
and so i bend my knees and pray

forgive me, saints, for i have sinned
i let my lesser morals win
i gave away all that i could
and now I might be done for good
no spotlight to reveal my path
no audience to stand and clap
i pray to god but don't believe
i drink, i burn, i swear i bleed

with wine and fire, with blood and bone
the lights are off, the curtain's closed
so lock the door and toss the key
my secrets are what set me free