Sage & Silver Bullets

by Kate Nyx

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about

"Sage & Silver Bullets" is my third record. It was funded by my fans, friends, and family on Kickstarter, a fact I am both proud of and humbled by.

The title, Sage & Silver Bullets, relates to the healing powers inherent in music for me. This, I hope, will be the last record I write about Mr. Domestic Rhapsody. Producing it is burning sage; I'm cleaning out my brain of his presence, but also the presence of my anxiety and depression now voiced by him in my head. "Silver bullets", because I'm very about cowboy/outlaw imagery and I always imagine silver bullets coming from fancy six shooters. They're what you use to kill demons and other monsters; my anxiety is a being that I have to exorcise and slay.

credits

released April 11, 2015

Vocals/Guitar/Ukulele: Kate Nyx
Bass/Mandolin/Guitar: Patrick Crowling
Guitar/Keys/Arrangement: Bright Kelly
Lead Guitar [Diagnonsense]: Brian Dibagio
Drums: Brian Viglione

Music and lyrics by Kate Nyx

Produced, mixed, and mastered by Bright Kelly at Empty Attic Studios

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about

Kate Nyx Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

Social Justice Bard

magic. music. mischief.

[formerly Hayley Jane]

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Track Name: Black Sky Lullaby
i'll be fine without you
find tomorrow on my own
not everything's about you
and you can't know what's comin down the road
what the future holds

i'm gonna get better
can't rain till the end of time
there's changes in the weather
only god knows what is down the line
and darlin, it's alright

you can tell me that i'm crazy
but i can tell you're lying

you say that i'm nothing
but i'm fire, and you're the fuel
you say no one can love me
but i think you forgot the golden rule
so keep on bein' cruel

tell me i'm a disaster
but at least i'm not a fool

storms may gather but i'll harvest the thunder
weave with lightning to make things of wonder
i'll bleed my ink from blackened skies
and write my poems on telephone lines
You don't get to run my life
I'm not your mother, child or wife
Who are you to say I'm lost
I've found myself amidst the fog

i won't let you destroy me
you cannot take my soul
your spell may still be on me
but some day soon i will be in control
i don't have far to go

the tunnel's getting shorter
and time is tickin' on
the light is getting brighter
i know that it can't be very long
until the night is gone

you can say it's getting darker
but i know you're wrong
Track Name: Annabelle
Annabelle sat
Next to the train tracks
The sunset stared back
As she swung her feet
Against the guard rail
Her hair in pigtails
Every tall tale
She told was in her teeth

Her mother said that fibbers were the devils kin & kind
And that she wouldn’t get anywhere by telling all those lies
But Annabelle was happier playing in her mind
So she lied
Oh, she lied.

Annabelle sat
Next to the train tracks
The sky was so black
You couldn’t see the stars
Against the stop lights
The neon bar signs
She knew it was time
To find a new front yard

She packed her journals & her comb, her necklace made of shells
And her mother told her she was going straight to hell
But the devils playground was better than standing still
Hey Annabelle
Oh, Annabelle

Annabelle sat
Next to the train tracks
And she looked back
But she felt no fear
She said a prayer
It was nowhere
It was somewhere
But it wasn’t here

I have waited all my life to go out on my own
This place cannot contain me, I don't care if I'm alone
If travel far enough, the road can feel like home
And so I go
Track Name: Calm Down
baby, calm down,
baby, calm down,
it's gonna be fine
baby, calm down
baby, calm down,
one day you'll be mine

i can't wash you off of my skin
look at all the trouble i'm in
i can't get you out of my head
never kicked you out of my bed
you said

baby, calm down,
baby, calm down,
it's gonna be fine
baby, calm down
baby, calm down,
one day you'll be mine

in time

your disaster burrowed in me
and developed into disease
i still see your face in my dreams
three years passed and i'm still unclean
you breathed

baby, calm down,
baby, calm down,
it's gonna be fine
baby, calm down
baby, calm down,
one day you'll be mine

in time
Track Name: Blood and Bone
i am no saint i have my sins
i let who i thought i was win
i've lost my soul to nonchalance
i cannot tell what pain i've caused
my body's here. my heart is not
the war i waged was hardly fought
and at what cost, where do i go
i pray to gods i barely know

with wine and fire
with blood and bone
i drink, i burn, i bleed alone
god help me now,
i've lost my way
and so i bend my knees and pray

I can't say what I sacrificed
so that my ego could survive
i could not have been left less whole
i cut apart my heart and soul
on every stage i left a piece
to acquiesce my devotees
i gave away all i could see
and now there's nothing left for me

with wine and fire
with blood and bone
i drink, i burn, i bleed alone
god help me now,
i've lost my way
and so i bend my knees and pray

forgive me, saints, for i have sinned
i let my lesser morals win
I gave away all that I could
and now I might be done for good
No spotlight to reveal my path
No audience to stand and clap
I pray to god but don't believe
i drink, i burn, i swear i bleed



with wine and fire, with blood and bone
the lights are off, the curtain's closed
So lock the door and toss the key
My secrets are what set me free
Track Name: Spring Cleaning
it's been a little while now, the both of us moved on
our love is dust behind us, the passion's dead and gone
and i mean it when i tell you, i hope you're doing well
but I gotta say this, baby, I'd sell my soul to send you straight to hell
i can't recall the moment i decided your fate
perhaps when I was talking to the other woman on your plate
i've never been a side dish, and i didn't take it well
yeah, i gotta tell you, baby, i'd sell my soul to send you straight to hell

you're a looker not a lover
but i'm a fighter so take cover
and i've got the kind of ammo that you can't buy
i'm doing some spring cleanin'
i'm exorcising demons
so bring my whiskey and my guitar cause someone is gonna die

i'd say that i was joking, but i can't say a word
and lying is a sin, my dear, i don't believe you heard
and after all the wrong you did me, i'm trying not to dwell
but i gotta tell you, darling, i'd sell my soul to send you straight to hell

you're a cheater, not a player
but i'm a devil slayer
and you ain't got nothing on the game I'm gonna bring
i'm doing some spring cleanin
i'm exorcising demons
so ring a bell because it's about damn time this angel got her wings

i heard a wise man sayin' the past should stay the past
but if i never looked behind me, i wouldn't know just what i had
i've found a man who loves me and truly treats me well
but i still think about how i'd sell my soul to send you straight to hell
Track Name: The Curse of Eve
you have cursed us, mother eve
we regret the things we eat
damned to the eternal fate
despising every bite we ate
poring over each detail
skeletal and deathly pale
compared to every girl we meet,
you have cursed us, mother eve

if the apple'd stayed untouched
would we hate ourselves as much
hungering and never sated
look at the monsters you've created
wretching to prevent our sins
from settling beneath our skin
we would rather weep & heave
you have cursed us, mother eve

the mirror lies, the scale's a whore
i couldn't handle one bite more
it'd be the death of me, i'm sure
if i should take one bite more
the bodies with which we've been blessed
cannot thrive in emptiness
but we have become obsessed
in hollow bones and shallow breasts
we take pride in emptiness

you have cursed us, mother eve
how can i ever believe
that i am not what i eat
you have cursed us, mother eve
you have cursed us, mother eve
Track Name: Diagnonsense
It was predicted by my mother's eyes
With tears that wandered down her face
That my psyche would be volatile
With several parts misplaced
The section meant for direction
Never developed fully
Now ribbons tied to my cortexes
Find new places to pull me

I say I'm not losing my mind
Because it's running free
It's travelled long and loathesome hours
To get away from me

It sits in an unsealed mason jar
Upon some official's desk
Happy in it's unhappiness
And finally at rest
And here I sit, without a conscience
But i have never been at peace
Not technically conscious
But cognitive at least

I say I'm not losing my mind
Because it took a train
Through North Carolina and New Orleans
To find itself new names

This addiction that I have is not to any substance
No nicotine can sway me, no alcohol can numb it
I don't adore heroin, I don't fancy cocaine
I'm in love to my very core with causing myself pain

I say I'm not losing my mind
But we know that's a lie
It travelled long and loathsome hours
To find somewhere to die
Like a cat curled in a corner
Underneath the basement stairs
To breath its final breath alone
So you don't have to care.
Peaceful in its death alone
With no one left to care.
Track Name: In Your Grave
put a bullet in the head
of every wretched word you said
tried to pretend that you don't exist
but pretending didn't work
tried to fill your mouth with dirt
but it all just passed right through your lips

get back in your grave
you can't haunt me forever
get back in your grave
get back in your grave
i'm trying to get better
get back in your grave

in the dark, there's always ghosts
you play my ribs like xylophones
reminding me i wasn't worth a dime
you bled me of my innocence
you claimed it was just ignorance
and that i should thank you for your time

i put a bullet in the head
of every pretty word you said
i thought killing them would work
but they still bubble from the earth
their hands claw through the grass
they whisper when I pass
that it's something to behold
how i'm nothing and you're gold

get back in your grave
i hurt but i keep living
get back in your grave
get back in your grave
you shall never be forgiven
get back in your grave
Track Name: Bianca
It's so easy to go back
To the life that you once had
It's so god damn hard to change
And the feeling's pretty strange
It's so easy to say yes
To your old conflicted mess
It's like a cheap electric shock
To turn back the clock

Can't you just say no, Bianca?
Can't you let it go, Bianca?
I guess I'll never know, Bianca
The things that you go through

It's like you were never alive
Every step you take's a dive
Into a new uncharted sea
Where we all sit, patiently
Please don't try to run away
We're waiting 'til you're okay
Before you forgive anyone else
You have to forgive yourself

Can't you just say no, Bianca?
Can't you let it go, Bianca?
I guess I'll never know, Bianca
The things that you go through

Maybe I should try to help
Try to break into your shell
Maybe I don't have the balls
To catch Bianca if she falls
Or should I leave you alone
Delete your number off my phone
Stop the games, and leave you be
Bianca, tell me

Can't you just say no, Bianca?
Can't you let it go, Bianca?
I guess I'll never know, Bianca
The things that you go through
Track Name: Road To Hell
i can feel it creeping up behind me
i can feel its breath upon my ear
i can feel its skeletal hands guide me
out of the corner of my eye, i can see it drawing near

i can hear it slink among the shadows
i can hear its laughter on the wind
i know its preparing for the gallows
I know that its craving to hang me for my sins

but i will still fight for my redemption
god as my witness, i will make a stand
the road to hell is paved with good intentions
and I just want to be a better man

i can see it counting all my errors
I can see it clouding up my eyes
The nights are long and dark and filled with terror
It knows my faults, it knows me fears and lies

I can tell that it knows that I am trying
It watches my attempts and cocks its head
It doesn't know that I am slowly dying
Because it thinks I am already dead

but i will still fight for my redemption
I'm doing what I can, but can't you see
the road to hell is paved with good intentions
but honestly, I just want to sleep

i am nothing but collective malice
piled up in books besides my head
it is the rabbit and i am always alice
fighting all the monsters in my head

try as i might to fight for my redemption
i do my best, but what's done is done
the road to hell is paved with good intentions
and like all the times before, the devil won