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All This 2 Say

by Kate Nyx

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about

This year has been really hard, and the holidays have been excruciating in particular. This song is about that.

lyrics

I’ve been trying to hide that i am still losing my mind
thought that someday I would find what I can’t feel
as appealing as that sounds, therapy ain’t lost and found
it can run you in the ground to learn the truth
that no one else can do the work but you

all of this to say i’m fucking losing it again
and I’ve been trying to pretend
that I don’t want to meet my end
all of this to say i’m sorry I can’t fix my face
I know I give it all away
that I can feel every mistake
If I could be, I would be okay

as you all can see, i’m still grasping desperately
at what’s left of my sanity, but I’m still here
It might not look like much, it sure feels like not enough
and I am losing touch with my reality
but at least the one who feeling it still feels like me

all of this to say i’m fucking losing it again
and I’ve been trying to pretend
that I don’t want to meet my end
all of this to say i’m sorry I can’t fix my face
I know I give it all away
that I can feel every mistake
If I could be, I would be okay

i know that i am better than when this happened before
but i still feel like a failure when i’m weeping on the floor
because i paid so much money not to do this anymore
but recovery’s not linear, so I’ll see you all again I’m sure

all of this to say i’m fucking losing it again
and I’ve been trying to pretend
that I don’t want to meet my end
all of this to say i’m sorry I can’t fix my face
I know I give it all away
that I can feel every mistake
If I could be, I would be okay

credits

released December 8, 2021
Kate did the all of it!

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all rights reserved

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about

Kate Nyx Lancaster, Pennsylvania

Maker. Musician. Feral faerie feminist. Chronically the illest. That clown girl from Pinterest. Punk rock pixie pinup.
Photos by Chad Harnish

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